Tea, Burgers and Sealand
by FemCalifornia-Kat
Summary: Sealand's friend Latvia is missing and it's up to Alfred and Arthur to rescue him! Sucky Summary and HetaCrack Rated T for language and some violence in later chapters..
1. Chapter 1

A/N: I GIVE UP WRITING SMUT PERMANINTLY. The only reason I wrote it was 'cause my friend Gloria said to. So this is my Humor/Adventure story based off of the anime/manga Axis Powers Hetalia. I do not own Hetalia or any of its characters. Please review and give me ideas I NEED MOTIVATION D: Thank you R&R :D

PAINT IT WHAT?!

Alfred sat in his chair and angrily scooped up a spoonful of yogurt and shoved it angrily in his mouth. "Stupid Arthur. Making the HERO eat low fat yogurt. Even if it is delicious," Alfred pouted and ate another spoonful. Just then his IPhone rang emitting England's theme song. He picked it up and slid the 'answer' button.  
"Yellow?"  
"No you bloody idiot, it's Arthur."  
"Oh hi Iggy~!"

"Iggy~"

"Igg~y"  
"What"  
"You called me… for.."  
"Oh yes I need your help Alfred,"  
"Oh you do~!"  
"Not like that bloody git. My brother Sea-… sea-."  
"-Land?"  
"Yes him, well his friend Latvia has gone, well missing."  
"You forgot your own brother's name ?"  
"Shut up."  
"Anyway Latvia is missing. SO?"  
"So Sealand keeps pestering me about it."  
"And you need the hero's help because.."  
"Because Russia is behind it."  
"No WAY Ivan is behind this."  
"Well he is, Alfred, now finish the yogurt I told you to eat and I'm on my way over."

"I don't wanna."  
"EAT. THE. BLOODY. YOGURT."  
"… FINE."  
"Ok bye"  
"Bye Iggy~!"  
"… Don't call me that."  
"BYE :D" –click- "Beep-beep-beep"  
"Well, it's been fun yogurt but sadly you must die." Alfred dumped the rest of the yogurt in the trash. "MWUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! :D"

-  
England: We'll, It's an improvement Ino-chan."  
America: Dude.  
England: What?  
Ino-chan: (=_= )  
All: WE'LL SEE YOU NEXT TIME :D!  
England: Review's are bloody welcome  
Russia: Become one. Da?  
Reviews = Chp's :)


	2. Chapter 2: On the Road

A/N: I'm updating fast huh? 'Cause I think this is a good story, DAS RIGHT I READ MY STUFF :D (sumtimes)… :P Anyway if you review it will be greatly appreciated :D Anyway to the story -

Arthur's POV:

"Peter Kirkland! Will you STOP you indecent wailing?!"I screamed. "WAAAAAAAAH POOR LATVIA, RUSSIA IS PROBALBLY-." "SHUT UP PETER! BLOODY HELL!" "Fine, gosh you didn't need to yell." Stated Peter as I banged my head against the steering wheel. "Uhm… England?" Peter stared at me as I banged my head against the wheel repeatedly. Bang. Bang. Bang. "England… ENGLAND! ENGLAAAAND! WE'RE SWIRVING!" Bang. Ba- "Wait. WHAT!? AAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!"

Alfred's POV:

I stared down at my watch. "Where is he it's already 3:15! He called me at 2:00." Just then his car pulled up in the street with Sealand passed out in the backseat. "Hi?" I said obviously confused. "Just get in blasted American." Arthur said coldly "Why so serious, Iggy?" I said as I climbed into the front seat. "I'm always serious." He spat out at me. "Awwwwww Iggy don't be that way. It hurts my feels bro. My feels."  
I said with a puppy face. "GAH just shut up and let's go." Artie said before he started his car, his OLD OLD Victorian car, man, he needs a Ford…

-Insert Time Lapse Here-  
It's 5:46  
Somewhere in Siberia:

"So.. little Amerika and England are coming for you Latvia, eh?" questioned Ivan Braginski turning to the little Latvian boy who was shivering. "Please mister Russia, let me go." Ivan chuckled at his plea. "Not yet tiny Latvia… not yet."

Arthur's POV:  
"We all got that bone down deep inside~! No matter where it is you just can hide.~" sang Alfred  
I changed the tune to a different channel. "You make me this! Bring me up bring me down! Play it sweet make me move like a freak! Mister Saxobeat~!" I changed it again. "Chu Chu lalavini lalala hip hip hip hororway~!" "DANG IT AMERICA SHUT THE BLOODY HELL UP!"

=  
SO THIS IS CHP 2 THANK YOU FOR READING AND STAY TOONED :D

Also the song's Alfred was singing: Hillbilly bone, Mister Saxobeat, and the last one.. idrk I found it on Yt.


	3. Chapter 3: SORRY

Sorry, this is only an author's note but I PROMISE I WILL POST CHP 3 TOMMOROW OK? D: I WAS AT THE WATER PARK AND IM TIRED. SO. BYE :D

=Ino-chan/California XD


	4. Chapter 4: Lavia's Flashback

Me: Hi people! I'm back after a few days :D  
England: -cough- a month –cough-  
Me: -_- - throws brick at England's head-  
England: OW  
Me: To the computer room! – runs into room-  
America: that's the closet!  
Me: I knew that!

Alfred's Pov:

I had fallen asleep in the front seat and when I woke up I had drool dripping down my face.

Latvia's Flashback:  
A/N: Just imagine those squiggly lines on tv.

I was sitting on Russia's couch reading my book, as always. I was waiting for Sealand to show up. Then, suddenly I heard footsteps. CLACK CLACK CLACK. More foot-steps. CLACK CLACK CLACK. Rushing foot-steps. Trying to get somewhere.. CLACK CLACK CLACK. They came to a stop and I felt two pairs of hands grab my shoulders roughly. "Wah?! LET ME GO!" I wailed helplessly until I saw who it was.. It was Toris and Eduard. But. Why?

Toris's POV:

I'm sorry Latvia. I can't control my actions anymore. I'm. Sorry…

Eduard's POV:

I. Can't. Stop. It.

Back to Latvia's POV:

"HELP! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?" I wailed more as they dragged my down the hallway. No answer.. Why don't they help? Why? Before I was dragged through a door, I saw Sealand. Looking at me through the front door. Just staring, helplessly. Eyes wide in shock. I saw him stare until I was dragged through the door. Then everything went black.

Me: Sorry this was short! I got school!  
America: Yeah my school system sucks..  
Me: I KNOW. I GOT TO ONE OF THEM.  
England: Thank you to all the reviewers. We appreciate you very much – gives cookies to reviewers -  
Next Chp. Up tomorrow.  
~Ino-chan/California XD


	5. Chapter 5: Sealand's dream

Me: -walks in- Hi reader :D  
WV/Adri: YAY U updated on time :D  
Me: I KNOW RIGHT – high five- IGGY! DO THE DIS-  
England: -puts hand over my mouth- Ino-chan does not own Hetalia  
America: -puts hand over Iggy's mouth- If she did, this would be real. O_O  
ALL: O_O"  
WV/Adri: Uhm. To the closet!  
Me: yeah!  
England: O my god….

Arthurs POV:

I was still driving even at 12:30 AM. America and Sealand were asleep in the backseat which left me with utter silence. Ahh… finally. "Artie..?" UGH!

Alfred's POV:

I awoke sleepily to see that  
1. It was 12:30  
and  
2. England was still driving.

"England. Why are you still driving?"  
He hesitated to answer.  
"Go back to sleep. I will find a hotel soon." He said turning and smiling.

"Okay…" I fell asleep..

Latvia's POV:

I'm so cold. So cold.

Sealand's POV:

The place was full of clouds. There was Latvia. He wasn't gone. He was here. With me.

Me: Short short short D:  
England: Review


	6. Chapter 6: OO

Me: Hey read-  
England: -jumps on me- Ah-Ah-Ah Kat.

Me: Aw why?  
England: Because. This chapter is long.  
Me: Ok….

-

When Sealand woke up, he was in a hotel room with England on the edge of the bed thinking deeply as shower water ran in the background. "England?" Peter startled his elder as he said his name. "Ah. Peter you are up. Alfred is in the shower. Brush your hair and change your clothes. We are almost to Russia's house." Arthur said. Peter sleepily got up off the bed, but not before slapping Arthur's head. "Pfft-" Peter said running. "GET BACK HERE PETER KIRKLAND!" Arthur said chasing Peter around the bed. Alfred came out of the shower in sweatpants and a T-Shirt. "Uh?" Peter and Arthur stopped just as the elder was going to grab the other by the collar. "Hello Alfred."

Hetalia-Hetalia-Hetalia-Hetalia-

Latvia's POV:

I hope Sealand gets here soon with Alfred and Arthur. I still don't know why Russia is doing this. Controlling my other Baltics with a simple controller. Sick. It's what it is. Sick. Russia walked in with a tray full of food. "Privet Latvia." He said to me placing down the tray. "Why are you doing this?" I said looking down through my strands of hair. "Oh silly Latvia. To mess with Америка. For what he did to me in the Cold War." He replied. Hurry you guys, I can't bear it.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Alfred's POV:

We were only one more hour away from Russia. We had just left the hotel. Sealand and Arthur had calmed down and Sealand was playing with one of his many toys. I sat in the Passenger seat as Arthur drove. I stared out at the vast world. "Hm," I wondered why Ivan would do this. Is it because I lived with Lithuania after the Revolutionary war with England? Or when we fought about the first man on the moon? Or… "Alfred?" Arthur asked still not taking his eyes off the road. I guess he noticed my face… "Yeah?" "Are you okay?" "Yeah.."

Allies-Allies-Allies-Allies-

Estonia and Lithuania were locked up in a cellar and stayed silent. "E-Estonia?" Lithuania asked looking up the other with glossy eyes. "Yes." Estonia said. "Do you feel bad about this as much as I do?" Lithuania asked. "No." Lithuania buried his head back in his arms. Why didn't he? Latvia was the youngest Baltic and they just betrayed him…

-

Me: Not really THAT long.  
England: Yeah  
America: Review and Fav.  
Sealand: Don't forget to follow desu-yo!


	7. Chapter 7: woot

Me:Guise~! –comes running in with bowl of Lucky Charms-  
England: And you have those because..?  
Me: …..because….. o3o  
England: -sigh-

OooOooOooOoo

{Alfred's POV:}

We finally arrived at Russia's house and were walking down his long corridor to his room.  
"I-I'm scared…" Sealand said hugging himself. It was could down here. Arthur got to the end of the hall first and was staring in content at a door. "Arthur?" I asked cocking my head to the side. "This is where Russia and Latvia are… I'm sure of it…" he responded. Arthur outstretched his arm and grasped the doorknob tightly. I heard Arthur take a deep breath. And. He opened the door. It was pitch black in there and it smelled metallic. I fumbled for the light switch against the wall until I found it. I flicked it and the room illuminated. What we saw was nothing out of place, everything was normal. Sealand, England and I gazed around the room as if to be looking for a secret door. All that was in the room was Russia's desk with stacks of papers on top, a painting of an unknown woman in Victorian style attire, the door that lead back to the hall, a red couch and a rug. Sealand went over to Russia's desk and looked the papers over, searching for something that would explain where Latvia was. Instead, he found a remote. The remote had buttons labeled: 'control: Lithuania' and 'control: Estonia' and under each button they had a speaker with was where Russia made his orders. Sealand picked up the remote and brought it over to England. England examined it for a while before saying, "This is how he made the Baltics do his dirty work, eh?" I stared across the room at the couch and squinted. I could just barely make out a door. A small door. I walked over to it and moved the couch out of the way.

Indeed, it was a door. It had a lock, though. But, luckily, I had found a key in the hallway before we reached this room. I took out the key and shoved it into the lock. I turned it and a small 'click' could be heard. England and Sealand rushed and peeked over my shoulder. "What happened?" England asked. "I unlocked this door and I'm guessing it leads to the cellar, but why would Ivan hide it?" I said as I twisted the door open. The light from Ivan's room flooded into the cramped, dark space allowing us to see a bit of the room. I saw two boys. Wait, is that? No, it can't be… It is!? Lithuania and Estonia looked up at us and curled up more than their current position. "W-w-why are you here?" Lithuania question his voice was shaky…had he been crying? "Sealand told us Latvia was missing and we came here and what are you doing down here?" I asked staring at the two boys on the cold cement. "You two shouldn't be here! You must go before he gets here!" Estonia said gesturing us to go hurriedly with his hands. We didn't hear footsteps all we heard was the two Baltic nations gasping and hiding their eyes with their sleeves.

-

Russia had all three of us by the collar and was holding us up to the light like a newly won trophy.  
"So you came after all, I thought you would have turned back. But ah, too late now." He said smirking. Sealand tried to wriggle free of his grip but his grip was like iron. He couldn't break through.  
I tried to throw a punch to his face but he moved his head to avoid it. Darn it. He started to laugh manically and then he dropped us. I saw England get up with shaky knees. Then he got kicked in the stomach. I saw his body fly across the room before hitting the wall with a hard 'slam' and saw his body slump to the ground. "ENGLAND!"

pPpPpPpPpPp

Me: this was sad to write :(  
England: Reviewer you can have all the cookies :)  
Me: Awww Iggy! –hug-


	8. Chapter 8

Me: HUMP DAAY!~  
England: You saw that commercial?  
America+me: Heck YES! :D  
England: -sigh- Well, hopefully I survive and AMERICA WILL SAVE ME :(  
America: … -runs like the wind away from England-  
Me: I do not own Hetalia, if I did, California would be in more than the movie..  
America: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH HEEELP!  
=0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o=  
[Arthur's POV:]

The last thing I had seen was Alfred looking at me with his mouth agape and eyes so wide and teary they might have fallen out. The last thing I felt was intense pain coursing through my body. The last thing I heard was my name. The last thing I smelt, … was blood. I blacked out and when I woke up, Alfred was on top of me and looked very worried. When he saw me open my eyes his former grim look turned into his signature grin as he pulled me into an embrace that could have crushed my bones. "A- Alfred. I- uh. Cannot breathe." I yelped. "Oh yeah.. sorry!" he chirped placing me down as gently as he could. My back felt cold as it touched the cold concrete and I shivered. "How did we get down into the cellar, Alfred?" I questioned as my emeralds met his deep sapphires. The question hung in the damp air until he said, "I tried to fight back but.." Before he could finish he buried his head in his hands and wept softly. "Where's Peter?" I tried to change the subject. "He's with… R-Russia…" his voice was still very shaky.

I brought him close to me and hugged his the best I could with my injuries and cooed.  
"It's ok… It'll be okay…."  
IiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiI  
{Alfred's POV:}

Arthur pulled me in close and cooed in my ear softly. It was so warm in his arms. It was nice to know that he still accepted me even though I couldn't save him or his brother. I sat there on my knees in front of him as he hugged me tightly. After a second I gave in and let the pent up hot tears roll down my face. At that he stroked me hair soothingly and comfortingly. I whimpered and cried more. England was so nice when he wanted to. He was quite a fatherly figure. …

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][] [][][][]

Me: This chp is sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo short.  
England: -_-; why do I have to hug America?  
America: -holds a sign that says: 'Free Hugs'  
Enlgand: =_= -rips sign off-  
Me: Awww…..  
Wv/Adri: Awwww…..  
America: You can hug me anyway :D  
Me+Adri: YAAAAAY!  
Me while hugging America: Also I changed my name to soupandspoonsforlunch because FemCalifornia-Kat was old…  
Adri: I liked it…  
Canada: I'm still here…

Me: Canada will you go hug the reviewer as a ty gift?  
Canada: Ok –hugs guest/reviewer-  
Me/America/Canada/Sealand/Latvia/Adri/England: Review please!~  
====


	9. Chapter 9

Me: HOLA!~ It's the weekend! – runs around with banner that says OH YEEEAAHHH-  
America+Sealand: - joins me -  
England: -Facepalm- She – points- does NOT own Hetalia… THANK GOD.

Me: Iggy~ That's very ungentlemanly of you~  
England: SHUT THE BLODDY HELL UP KAT.  
Me: -sniffle- FINE. –huggles reviewer- -v-  
America: HUGS! –hugs England-  
Adri/WV: To CHAPTER NINE!

[Arthurs POV:]

I didn't know what time it was but it was colder than earlier and I could faintly hear crickets. It was probably night. I sat in the corner of the cold cellar where Russia had been keeping us. The Baltic states that are down here are sleeping soundly. I glanced over at Alfred who was leaning on my shoulder. "Alfred?" I nudged his head with my shoulder. All I got in reply was a snore. I chuckled lightly. I pushed his head up off my shoulder and laid his body gently on the cement floor. I got to my feet, which were asleep from sitting cross-legged. I crossed the cellar floor to the metal door that guarded Russia. I needed to find a way to break it down. But how?

[ Sealand's POV:]

Russia took me away from my brother and Alfred when Arthur got kicked against the wall. I was currently sitting on the carpeted floor in which I assumed was Latvia's room. Latvia and I were currently on the floor wide awake. "H-hey Latvia?" I looked at the boy next to me. "Yes Peter?" Latvia tilted his head. "Do you know why he is doing this?" His eyes widened and tears fell down his cheeks. He buried his head in his arms. His back moved up and down in an unsteady rhythm. "Because….because… of the cold war!" He choked out. So… that's why…

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-  
[Arthur's POV:]

I stood against the wall deep in thought. How could I save Alfred, Sealand and the Baltics? Then I remembered. Russia comes and gives us food. When he comes down I could make my escape! But for now.. I wouldn't mind getting some rest…

OpOpOp

Me: If any reviewers have ideas, just leave it in a review or Pm me!

America: - looks over chapter- HEY! Where's MY POV?  
Me: In the next chapter…  
America: Oh.. OK~  
Adri/WV: -hugs America- HE'S SO FLUFFY~~  
England: -sigh- Another Kat….  
Me: What was that? *giggles and pulls out 2p! self's chainsaw*  
England: Nothing!  
Sealand: DEEESSSSUUUUUUU YOOOOOOOO!


	10. Chapter 10

Me: -walks in with script and reads over it but throws it over shoulder like a boss- Hiya peoples!  
Adri/Wv: So! Time for Chapter Ten, eh?  
Me: yeah… but!  
Jo Mama: DUN DUN DUUUUUN

Me: The END IS NEEEAAR!  
Adri/WV: Really?  
Me: -v- OH YEAAA  
America: IS IT 2012 ALREADY!? THE APACOLYPSE!

Me: No! It's 2013! TWO ZERO ONE THREE!

America: Oh….. bummer…  
Adri/Wv: Kat does NOT own Hetalia!~  
Me: If I did~ Sealand would get more screentimeee~~~!  
OoOoOoOoO  
[Alfred's POV:]

My eyes cracked open slowly and I saw a ray of light creeping through the door. When my eyes fully adjusted, I saw England and Russia standing face to face. "Let us go Russia. WHAT DID WE EVER DO-" Before England could finish, Russia took out his pipe and swung it. It hit the side of England's head. He fell. I saw Russia laughing like a maniac. I couldn't take it anymore… So. I got up on my shaky knees and..- I landed a punch to his face. Russia just stood there and stared with wide eyes. Then he smirked. He grasped my wrist and squeezed… tightly. I gasped and fell to my knees as he continued to twist. I struggled to get to my knees but I couldn't. Russia is too strong. Then I saw a fist hit his cheekbone. I looked over. It was England. "LET HIM GO! NOW!"  
Russia let go and fell to the ground. How could a punch like that bring down the mighty Russia? I looked down at his unmoving form and gasped. I crawled back against the wall with disgust all over my face. I started to cry. England came running over to me and hugged me. "It's ok… We're Okay…"

oOoOo  
Me: Well….. I SUCK AT FIGHT SCENES!  
Adri: No really? I didn't notice ( sarcasm )


End file.
